The Day the Schlinks Stood Still

By Le_Moyne_de_Morgues (La Royale, Jean Randier, p.31)

I think there’s room for both private exploration and group work in Yoga. (Sting)

Trust Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner to come up with something like this. Mind you, it’s a valid point, however this is light years away from what lies within the interests of Schlockanoids, and it’s included here only to have the popular singer’s name tagged in this post and hopefully cyber cheat a couple of extra hits in the process.

Then again, maybe Sting is not the ideal choice for that.


John Lennon (now that’s more like it) crooned about a certain Lucy whose best friends resided in the sky. He always denied the connection between Lucy-Sky-Diamonds and LSD and everybody believed him. NASA, of all people, proved him right because the heavenly drug of choice is NOT LSD but cocaine. CHECK THIS ONE OUT.

No wonder then that Robo Trek was invented. Robonaut 2, or R2, as he is known to close acquaintances, is immune to the allure of the white dust and thus more reliable. Also, considering that it consists of a mere head, torso and pair of arms, it cost $2.5 million to build and this impinged not a little on the recreation budget. No more fancy mind-altering stuff and anti-gravitational nights out- it’s back to Gin Rummy and Tiddlywinks.

Or Planetspotting. According to data acquired by NASA’s Kepler space telescope there could be billions of Earthlike planets in the Milky Way galaxy and thus the chances of having extraterrestrial intelligent life are increased dramatically. God knows if we are in dire need of more Dr Spocks.

Who sing about big hairy feet.

And who are hopefully fans of Michelangelo and Steven Spielberg rather than Tim Burton.

By Tama Leaver

Speaking of which, io9 published a list of great ET spoofs.  Check it out. Do yourself a favour and do not disclose how many of them you have actually seen. And yes, E.T. porn is included and even though it’s nobody’s business but mine, I am attending therapy sessions.


Here is the one about Kleeborp.

Image: Orchi

One need not go all the way to a galaxy far, far away to experience the thrill of discovery. There are always tropical rain forests and godforsaken jungles for some good old-fashioned perilous expeditions. Lurking amongst arboriculture that’s gone haywire there might be dinosaurs, for instance, which are just as cool. Look at what horror guru Mick Garris has to say about Irwin Allen’s 1960 adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World. This film is awesome because instead of using models and stop motion animation, the special effects team actually stuck fins and props to real lizards and then filmed them!

IT’S METHOD ACTING LIZARDS, MAN!!!! (Eat your heart out Mr Brando!)

And if it’s not a land that time forgot, it can be a loch in Scotland (ok, I see the similarities too) which houses a creature whose sporadic sightings and much-debated practical use in the grand scheme of things, made it become the stuff of legend. It’s not Ewan McGregor but Nessie, the aquatic perplexity that is at the moment a Disney-in-the-making.

Following more or less the same trajectory, Glendon Mellow has an ubersome cool site full of ubersome cool drawings and paintings collectively known as Art in Awe of Science. There are numerous extrapolations/hybrids of extinct beasts and humanoids that are so high on the WOW factor.

One can explore the sky, one can explore the land but what about the ocean? This is one of the most exciting things ever: if you CLICK HERE, you will find an article detailing how a certain species of algae ‘insinuate themselves into salamander embryos’ allowing them to breathe underwater. If it is possible with salamanders, why not with humans? And as we speak, I bet that James Cameron is knocking on the door of the nearest cosplay shop for that Aquaman costme that nobody ever rents.

And with that, I am going to end this month’s Schlinks. To round things up, here is a gratuitous video tutorial of how to make an origami swan: