The Necromancer’s Tub

1.

The room was dark. A solitary candle stood solemnly in a corner, yet its light seemed to cross the room with little effect. A breeze stirred the heavy curtain into a ripple. The cloth parted and a shaft of heavy daylight fell onto the floor and along the opposite wall. The light pushed its way in and the room was, for an instant, divided in two. Its northern half wet with sun, the southern pole saturated with shadows which the candle’s flickering yellows only seemed to deepen. The walls were absolutely featureless; unpainted and lined with planks of uninspired wood. The door, midway on its furthest wall, betrayed no artisan’s passion, but the cold touch of animated metal saws. It was all trivial, boring; all save for a bath tub lying alone in the middle, half immersed in light. The contrast with the room was almost jarring. It was majestic, a true treasure stolen into the room from a different age. It stood, flat, on four paws of ceramic in the imitation of lion’s feet painted in gold. Its body was curved, almost feminine, coloured starkly white. The ceramic gleamed in the sunlight; it even seemed somehow to distil some substance from the candle’s wavering. Its rim was pouted, polished smooth, immaculate. It called to mind images of milk and of the skin of some virgin, young, white body. The bath’s flesh dipped, forming a deep, long, slender tub and a concave floor. The light poured into it. In the middle, like a navel, was set a golden drain inflamed with the sun and unplugged. A thick redness wet the inside walls of the bath tub. It coalesced into small puddles, inching their way to the tub’s drain. It slid languidly off the surface, reaching down, leaving a trail of crimson, a tell tale trickle of gore. The breeze died. The curtain fell back, motionless. The candle conquered all. A silence fell, sealing the hushed horrors with a smothering calm. A tap tapping of footsteps punctured the quiet. The door sighed as it opened. All lay motionless. The man was no intruder. With three quick and practiced steps he crossed the room in one breath. From the deep corner he emerged with a pail in hand; ready to erase the blood from all existence, ready to urge it into the plughole and push it into oblivion. He ran a wet hand down the ceramic back of the bath tub. Slowly the caress dipped into the depths of the murk and redness. He ran a sponge along the curves of the tub, and up its yearning sides. There he labored, with sweaty brow and racing heart, a silhouette of shadow against the meek background of hushed light. He leaned over the bath in a domineering stance over the supine ceramic, one hand dipping into it, with powerful strokes urging the bath to forget its aches and its worries. He was thorough and convincing. He did not neglect to trace tenderly the legs of the bath, nor its feet, clawed and powerless, paralyzed by his power. The tub lay subdued, lying in darkness, imbibing the gore and the candle light.

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Schlock takes over Malta Comic Con!

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Our pulpy-tentacled babies, aka the con-exclusive pamphlets

Schlock plonked its rather sizeable bottom (three tables and an entire exhibition wall, baby!) down at the Upper Galleries of St James Cavalier, Valletta over this Halloween weekend, as the folks over at Wicked Comics graciously invited us to take part in the very first Malta Comic Con.

Not only did we get to tease people with artwork from the upcoming comic book themed issue, we also gave away this awesome little pamphlet, which was designed by Eliot Farrugia and features all-original flash fiction from the Schlock crew. Another highlight for us was the speech Marco and Teodor gave, which focused on the evolution of pulp heroes and pulp magazines in general, with some speculative words on their modern-day equivalents. Schlock also got to meet a number of foreign artists which were brought over by the Con organisers; namely Warren Pleece (Life Sucks, Incognegro), who actually shared the room with Schlock;  the one and only David Lloyd (V for Vendetta, Kickback); Mike Collins (Judge Dredd, Doctor Who); and Sean Azzopardi (Necessary Monsters, 12 Hour Shift).

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Standing to attention.

The mention of 'the Gorilla of the Gasbags' proved to be a strong draw for the public.

The mention of 'The Gorilla of the Gasbags' proved to be a strong draw to the public.

Overall, we had a great time preaching the Schlock gospel, though we’re sure the aforementioned physical hugeness of our presence must have helped to attract the onlookers’ attention. We’d like to think that we brought something unique to the event; and that our quirkiness resonated amidst a sea of superheroes and anime. We definitely look forward to next year’s edition; by which time, one would imagine, both the Con and Schlock itself would have undergone some polishing.

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Marco instructs us on the proper approach to our new overlord.

Schlock_Dan_FatSpidey

What to do when being followed by Fat Spiderman: act natural.

And speaking of polishing, we at the Schlock HQ are currently brewing what could potentially be a massive overhaul to the site; as nipping and tucking will take place in some areas, while others will be gleefully expanded so as to not compromise quality. So keep your eyes peeled for this development, as well as for the comics we’ve previewed

at the con. Teasing? Us? Never…

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Our round robin story. Yes, an octopus was included.

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From left to right: Mal, Daniel, Lara, Marco, Ellen, Mike, Teodor, Pete, Sarah, Rachel, Bettina. Photo taken by Warren Pleece.

Jack Stowe

Jack Stowe

Illustrated by Lefty LeMur

The question had been rhetorical, thrown into space by boredom from lips that seldom idled with such insignificances. The answer was known to every person in the kingdom, would certainly be known by erudites down the ages, yet it was not the one the empty room provided. Had it come from any other source, he would have dismissed it without a second thought, but given the nature of the speaker, it would have consequences that could change the annals of history for centuries.

The sorcerer-king was seated on his lavish throne, contemplating the world from the comfort of his castle. Scrying was his preferred method of keeping in touch with current events, and the clear waters of the magnificent fountain that decorated his audience hall were ideal for his business. The world he beheld was his in every sense of the word. His vast domain found its limits beyond lands unknown to his ancestors, and his territories were larger than any empire that preceded him; possibly any that would follow. Beyond his frontiers, kings and emperors paid tribute to him, mere puppets ruling decadent kingdoms not worthy of his personal attention. He had conquered them all, rising from a lowly birth to take first his place as ruler of his homeland, and then leading his men into countless victories over their surrounding oppressors. Read More…

Paetos

It had been three months since the emperor had united all the warring factions under one banner. Three months since the fighting had stopped, three months of peace and three thrice accursed months since Paetos had found any work. “No no…We do not need extra swords they say…we all support the peace and the empire they say….long live the empire,” he said mockingly to nobody in particular. He found that complaining to himself helped relieve the frustration he had building up inside. Occasionally some passing merchant would stare at the run down mercenary talking to himself, and then Paetos would have an excuse to swear and yell at someone. If he got lucky, the merchants guards might decide to “teach” him a lesson and he would get the fight he was craving for. He loved fighting; it was the only thing he was good at. Read More…